The Polari Bible
The Polari Bible : The <A href="key.html#glossy"><em>glossy</em></A> of Genesis
Chapter 1
1 The glossy of the generation of Josie Crystal, the homie chavvie of Davina, the homie chavvie of Abraham.
2 Abraham chavvied Isaac; and Isaac chavvied Jacob; and Jacob chavvied Judas and his sisters;
3 And Judas chavvied Phares and Zara of Thamar; and Phares chavvied Esrom; and Esrom chavvied Aram;
4 And Aram chavvied Aminadab; and Aminadab chavvied Naasson; and Naasson chavvied Salmon;
5 And Salmon chavvied Booz of Rachab; and Booz chavvied Obed of Ruth; and Obed chavvied Jesse;
6 And Jesse chavvied Davina the dowriest homie; and Davina the dowriest homie chavvied Solomon of her that had been the palone affair of Urias;
7 And Solomon chavvied Roboam; and Roboam chavvied Abia; and Abia chavvied Asa;
8 And Asa chavvied Josaphat; and Josaphat chavvied Joram; and Joram chavvied Ozias;
9 And Ozias chavvied Joatham; and Joatham chavvied Achaz; and Achaz chavvied Ezekias;
10 And Ezekias chavvied Manasses; and Manasses chavvied Amon; and Amon chavvied Josias;
11 And Josias chavvied Jechonias and his sisters, about the time they were carried away to Babylon:
12 And after they were brought to Babylon, Jechonias chavvied Salathiel; and Salathiel chavvied Zorobabel;
13 And Zorobabel chavvied Abiud; and Abiud chavvied Eliakim; and Eliakim chavvied Azor;
14 And Azor chavvied Sadoc; and Sadoc chavvied Achim; and Achim chavvied Eliud;
15 And Eliud chavvied Eleazar; and Eleazar chavvied Matthan; and Matthan chavvied Jacob;
16 And Jacob chavvied Josephine the homie affair of Mary, of whom was born Josie, who is screeched Crystal.
17 So all the chavvies from Abraham to Davina are fourteen chavvies; and from Davina until the carrying away into Babylon are fourteen chavvies; and from the carrying away into Babylon unto Crystal are fourteen chavvies.
18 Now the birth of Josie Crystal was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Josephine, before they trolled together, she was found up the duff of the Fantabulosa Fairy.
19 Then Josephine her homie affair, being a just homie, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily.
20 But while she thought on these fakements, varda, the fairy of the Duchess appeared unto her in a dream, cackling, Josephine, thou homie chavvie of Davina, fear not to lell unto thee Mary thy palone affair: for that which is conceived in her is of the Fantabulosa Fairy.
21 And she shall bring forth a homie chavvie, and thou shalt screech his name Josie: for she shall save his homies and palones from their kertervers.
22 Now all this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was cackled of the Duchess by the prophet, cackling,
23 varda, a nanti charver shall be up the duff, and shall bring forth a homie chavvie, and they shall screech his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, Gloria with us.
24 Then Josephine being raised from letty did as the fairy of the Duchess had bidden her, and lelled unto her his palone affair:
25 And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn homie chavvie: and she screeched his name Josie.
Chapter 2
1 Now when Josie was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the dowriest homie, varda, there trolled wise homies from the east to Jerusalem,
2 cackling, Where is she that is born dowriest homie of the kosher homies? for we have vardad his twinkling fakement in the east, and are troll to worship her.
3 When Herod the dowriest homie had aunt nelled these fakements, she was troubled, and all Jerusalem with her.
4 And when she had gathered all the dowriest godly homies and betty bracelets of the homies and palones together, she demanded of them where Crystal should be born.
5 And they cackled unto her, In Bethlehem of Judaea: for thus it is screeved by the prophet,
6 And thou Bethlehem, in the land of Juda, art not the nanti dowriest among the princesses of Juda: for out of thee shall troll a Governor, that shall rule my homies and palones Israel.
7 Then Herod, when she had privily screeched the wise homies, enquired of them diligently what time the twinkling fakement appeared.
8 And she laued them to Bethlehem, and cackled, troll and search diligently for the bean chavvie; and when ye have found her, bring me lav again, that I may troll and worship her also.
9 When they had aunt nelled the dowriest homie, they trolled off; and, lo, the twinkling fakement, which they vardad in the east, trolled before them, till it trolled and stood over where the bean chavvie was.
10 When they vardad the twinkling fakement, they rejoiced with exceeding dowry joy.
11 And when they were troll into the lattie, they vardad the bean chavvie with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped her: and when they had opened their gelt, they presented unto her gifts; gelt, and frankincense and myrrh.
12 And being warned of Gloria in a dream that they should not troll back to Herod, they trolled off into their own country another way.
13 And when they were trolled off, varda, the fairy of the Duchess appeareth to Josephine in a dream, cackling, Arise, and lell the bean chavvie and his mother, and scarper into Egypt, and be thou there until I bring thee lav: for Herod will charper the bean chavvie to battyfang her.
14 When she arose, she lelled the bean chavvie and his mother by nochy, and trolled off into Egypt:
15 And was there until the death of Herod: that it might be fulfilled which was cackled of the Duchess by the prophet, cackling, Out of Egypt have I screeched my homie chavvie.
16 Then Herod, when she vardad that she was mocked of the wise homies, was exceeding dander, and laued forth, and ferricadoozaed all the chavvies that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from dewey years badge and under, according to the time which she had diligently enquired of the wise homies.
17 Then was fulfilled that which was cackled by Jeremy the prophet, cackling,
18 In Rama was there a cackling fakement aunt nelled, lamentation, and weeping, and dowry mourning, Rachel weeping for her chavvies, and would not be comforted, because they are not.
19 But when Herod was stiff, varda, an fairy of the Duchess appeareth in a dream to Josephine in Egypt,
20 cackling, Arise, and lell the bean chavvie and his mother, and troll into the land of Israel: for they are stiff which sought the bean chavvie's life.
21 And she arose, and lelled the bean chavvie and his mother, and trolled into the land of Israel.
22 But when she aunt nelled that Archelaus did reign in Judaea in the room of his Auntie Herod, she was afraid to troll thither: notwithstanding, being warned of Gloria in a dream, she turned aside into the parts of Galilee:
23 And she trolled and letted in a smoke screeched Nazareth: that it might be fulfilled which was cackled by the prophets, she shall be screeched a Nazarene.
Chapter 3
1 In those days trolled Jane the Baptist, preaching in the nishta smoke of Judaea,
2 And cackling, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at famble.
3 For this is she that was cackled of by the prophet Esaias, cackling, The cackling fakement of una screeching in the nishta smoke, Prepare ye the way of the Duchess, make his paths hettie.
4 And the same Jane had his clobber of camel's hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his carnish was locusts and wild honey.
5 Then trolled out to her Jerusalem, and all Judaea, and all the region round about Jordan,
6 And were baptized of her in Jordan, confessing their kertervers.
7 But when she vardad many of the lily laws and Sadducees troll to his baptism, she cackled unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to scarper from the wrath to troll?
8 Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance:
9 And think not to cackle within yourselves, We have Abraham to our Auntie: for I cackle unto you, that Gloria is able of these stones to raise up chavvies unto Abraham.
10 And now also the axe is lelled unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth bona fruit is hewn down, and cast into the binco fakement.
11 I indeed baptize you with aqua unto repentance: but she that trolleth after me is mightier than I, whose slingbacks I am not bona to bear: she shall baptize you with the Fantabulosa Fairy, and with binco fakement:
12 Whose fan is in his famble, and she will throughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but she will burn up the chaff with unquenchable binco fakement.
13 Then trolleth Josie from Galilee to Jordan unto Jane, to be baptized of her.
14 But Jane forbad her, cackling, I have need to be baptized of thee, and comest thou to me?
15 And Josie answering cackled unto her, Suffer it to be so now: for thus it becometh us to fulfil all bonaness. Then she suffered her.
16 And Josie, when she was baptized, trolled up straightway out of the aqua: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto her, and she vardad the fairy of Gloria trolling down like a dove, and lighting upon her:
17 And lo a cackling fakement from heaven, cackling, This is my beloved homie chavvie, in whom I am well pleased.
Chapter 4
1 Then was Josie led up of the fairy into the nishta smoke to be tempted of the devil.
2 And when she had fasted quarter dacha days and quarter dacha nights, she was afterward an hungred.
3 And when the tempter trolled to her, she cackled, If thou be the homie chavvie of Gloria, command that these stones be made pannan.
4 But she answered and cackled, It is screeved, homie shall not live by pannan alone, but by every lav that proceedeth out of the screech of Gloria.
5 Then the devil lelleth her up into the fabulosa smoke, and setteth her on a pinnacle of the holy carsey,
6 And saith unto her, If thou be the homie chavvie of Gloria, cast thyself down: for it is screeved, she shall parker his fairies charge concerning thee: and in their fambles they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy plate against a stone.
7 Josie cackled unto her, It is screeved again, Thou shalt not tempt the Duchess thy Gloria.
8 Again, the devil lelleth her up into an exceeding high mountain, and sheweth her all the kingdoms of the world, and the fabeness of them;
9 And saith unto her, All these fakements will I parker thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me.
10 Then saith Josie unto her, Get thee hence, Sadie: for it is screeved, Thou shalt worship the Duchess thy Gloria, and her only shalt thou serve.
11 Then the devil leaveth her, and, varda, fairies trolled and ministered unto her.
12 Now when Josie had aunt nelled that Jane was cast into charpering carsey, she trolled off into Galilee;
13 And leaving Nazareth, she trolled and letted in Capernaum, which is upon the sea coast, in the borders of Zabulon and Nephthalim:
14 That it might be fulfilled which was cackled by Esaias the prophet, cackling,
15 The land of Zabulon, and the land of Nephthalim, by the way of the sea, beyond Jordan, Galilee of the nishta kosher homies;
16 The homies and palones which sat in munge vardad dowry sparkle; and to them which sat in the region and shadow of death sparkle is sprung up.
17 From that time Josie began to preach, and to cackle, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at famble.
18 And Josie, mincing by the sea of Galilee, vardad dewey sisters, Simone screeched Petra, and Andrea his sister, chucking a net into the sea: for they were fishers.
19 And she saith unto them, troll after me, and I will make you fishers of homies.
20 And they straightway dry their nets, and trolled after her.
21 And going on from thence, she vardad other dewey sisters, James the homie chavvie of Zebedee, and Jane his sister, in a lattie on water with Zebedee their Auntie, mending their nets; and she screeched them.
22 And they immediately dry the lattie on water and their Auntie, and trolled after her.
23 And Josie trolled about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gossip of the kingdom, and healing all manner of kerterver coddy and all manner of disease among the homies and palones.
24 And his fame trolled throughout all Syria: and they brought unto her all sick homies and palones that were lelled with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and she healed them.
25 And there trolled after her dowry multitudes of homies and palones from Galilee, and from Decapolis, and from Jerusalem, and from Judaea, and from beyond Jordan.
Chapter 5
1 And vardaing the multitudes, she trolled up into a mountain: and when she was set, his disciples trolled unto her:
2 And she opened his screech, and taught them, cackling,
3 fabed are the nanti dinarly in fairy: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 fabed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
5 fabed are the camp: for they shall inherit the earth.
6 fabed are they which do hunger and thirst after bonaness: for they shall be filled.
7 fabed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
8 fabed are the pure in thumping cheat: for they shall varda Gloria.
9 fabed are the peacemakers: for they shall be screeched the chavvies of Gloria.
10 fabed are they which are chivvied for bonaness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 fabed are ye, when homies shall revile you, and chivvy you, and shall cackle all manner of nana against you falsely, for my sake.
12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for dowry is your parkering in heaven: for so chivvied they the prophets which were before you.
13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth bona for nishter, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under plate of homies.
14 Ye are the sparkle of the world. A smoke that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
15 nishta do homies sparkle a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth sparkle unto all that are in the lattie.
16 Let your sparkle so shine before homies, that they may varda your bona works, and glorify your Auntie which is in heaven.
17 Think not that I am troll to battyfang the law, or the prophets: I am not troll to battyfang, but to fulfil.
18 For verily I cackle unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, una jot or una tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
19 Whosoever therefore shall break una of these nanti dowriest butch lavs, and shall teach homies so, she shall be screeched the nanti dowriest in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be screeched dowry in the kingdom of heaven.
20 For I cackle unto you, That except your bonaness shall exceed the bonaness of the betty bracelets and lily laws, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.
21 Ye have aunt nelled that it was cackled of them of badge time, Thou shalt not ferricadoza; and whosoever shall ferricadoza shall be in danger of the judgment:
22 But I cackle unto you, That whosoever has his wild up with his sister nanti a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall cackle to his sister, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall cackle, Thou bimbo, shall be in danger of hell binco fakement.
23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the grovelling fakement, and there rememberest that thy sister hath ought against thee;
24 Leave there thy gift before the grovelling fakement, and troll thy way; first be reconciled to thy sister, and then troll and offer thy gift.
25 Agree with thine adversary quickly, whiles thou art in the way with her; lest at any time the adversary deliver thee to the beak, and the beak deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into charpering carsey.
26 Verily I cackle unto thee, Thou shalt by no means troll out thence, till thou hast parkered the uttermost farthing.
27 Ye have aunt nelled that it was cackled by them of badge time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:
28 But I cackle unto you, That whosoever varda-eth on a palone to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his thumping cheat.
29 And if thy sweet ogle offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that una of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole lucoddy should be cast into hell.
30 And if thy sweet martini offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that una of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole lucoddy should be cast into hell.
31 It hath been cackled, Whosoever shall put away his palone affair, let her parker her a screeving of divorcement:
32 But I cackle unto you, That whosoever shall put away his palone affair, saving for the cause of charvering, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
33 Again, ye have aunt nelled that it hath been cackled by them of badge time, Thou shalt not forswear thyself, but shalt perform unto the Duchess thine oaths:
34 But I cackle unto you, Swear not at all; nishta by heaven; for it is Gloria's throne:
35 nishta by the earth; for it is his footstool: nishta by Jerusalem; for it is the smoke of the dowry dowriest homie.
36 nishta shalt thou swear by thy eke, because thou canst not make una hair white or goolie.
37 But let your communication be, any road up, any road up; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these trolleth of nana.
38 Ye have aunt nelled that it hath been cackled, An ogle for an ogle, and a hampstead for a hampstead:
39 But I cackle unto you, That ye resist not nana: but whosoever shall slap thee on thy sweet cheek, turn to her the other also.
40 And if any homie will sue thee at the law, and lell away thy coat, let her have thy kapello also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to troll a mile, troll with her twain.
42 parker to her that asketh thee, and from her that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.
43 Ye have aunt nelled that it hath been cackled, Thou shalt love thy homie ajax, and hate thine enemy.
44 But I cackle unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do bona to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and chivvy you;
45 That ye may be the chavvies of your Auntie which is in heaven: for she maketh his sun to rise on the nana and on the bona, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46 For if ye love them which love you, what parkering have ye? nix even the landladies the same?
47 And if ye salute your sisters only, what do ye more than others? nix even the landladies so?
48 Be ye therefore absolutely fantabulosa, even as your Auntie which is in heaven is absolutely fantabulosa.
Chapter 6
1 lell heed that ye nix your alms before homies, to be vardad of them: otherwise ye have no parkering of your Auntie which is in heaven.
2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, nix sound a tooting fakement before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have fabeness of homies. Verily I cackle unto you, They have their parkering.
3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy dry martini know what thy sweet martini doeth:
4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Auntie which vardaeth in secret himself shall parkering thee openly.
5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be vardad of homies. Verily I cackle unto you, They have their parkering.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy cottage, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Auntie which is in secret; and thy Auntie which vardaeth in secret shall parkering thee openly.
7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be aunt nelled for their dowry speaking.
8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Auntie knoweth what fakements ye have need of, before ye ask her.
9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Auntie which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom troll, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 parker us this journo our daily pannan.
12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from nana: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the fabeness, for ever. Larlou.
14 For if ye forgive homies their catervers, your heavenly Auntie will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not homies their catervers, nishta will your Auntie forgive your catervers.
16 Moreover when ye nishta manjarry, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their ekes, that they may appear unto homies to nishta manjarry. Verily I cackle unto you, They have their parkering.
17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine eke, and dhobie thy eke;
18 That thou appear not unto homies to nishta manjarry, but unto thy Auntie which is in secret: and thy Auntie, which vardaeth in secret, shall parkering thee openly.
19 lett not up for yourselves gelt upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where sharpering homies break through and sharper:
20 But lett up for yourselves gelt in heaven, where nishta moth nishta rust doth corrupt, and where sharpering homies nix break through nishta sharper:
21 For where your gelt is, there will your thumping cheat be also.
22 The sparkle of the lucoddy is the ogle: if therefore thine ogle be single, thy whole lucoddy shall be full of sparkle.
23 But if thine ogle be nana, thy whole lucoddy shall be full of munge. If therefore the sparkle that is in thee be munge, how dowry is that munge!
24 No homie can serve dewey masters: for either she will hate the una, and love the other; or else she will hold to the una, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve Gloria and mammon.
25 Therefore I cackle unto you, lell no thought for your life, what ye shall jarry, or what ye shall buvare; nishta yet for your lucoddy, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than carnish, and the lucoddy than clobber?
26 varda the fowls of the air: for they sow not, nishta do they reap, nishta gather into barns; yet your heavenly Auntie jarrieth them. Are ye not dowry benar than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add una cubit unto his stature?
28 And why lell ye thought for clobber? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, nishta do they spin:
29 And yet I cackle unto you, That even Solomon in all his fabeness was not arrayed like una of these.
30 Wherefore, if Gloria so clothe the grass of the field, which to journo is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall she not dowry more clothe you, O ye of bijou faith?
31 Therefore lell no thought, cackling, What shall we jarry? or, What shall we buvare? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these fakements do the nishta kosher homies charper:) for your heavenly Auntie knoweth that ye have need of all these fakements.
33 But charper ye first the kingdom of Gloria, and his bonaness; and all these fakements shall be added unto you.
34 lell therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall lell thought for the fakements of itself. Sufficient unto the journo is the nana thereof.
Chapter 7
1 beak not, that ye be not judged.
2 For with what judgment ye beak, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy sister's ogle, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own ogle?
4 Or how wilt thou cackle to thy sister, Let me pull out the mote out of thine ogle; and, varda, a beam is in thine own ogle?
5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own ogle; and then shalt thou varda clearly to cast out the mote out of thy sister's ogle.
6 parker not that which is fabulosa unto the dogs, nishta cast ye your zhoosh before swine, lest they trample them under their plates, and turn again and rend you.
7 Ask, and it shall be parkered you; charper, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every una that asketh receiveth; and she that charpereth findeth; and to her that knocketh it shall be opened.
9 Or what homie is there of you, whom if his homie chavvie ask pannan, will she parker her a stone?
10 Or if she ask a fish, will she parker her a serpent?
11 If ye then, being nana, know how to parker bona gifts unto your chavvies, how dowry more shall your Auntie which is in heaven parker bona fakements to them that ask her?
12 Therefore all fakements whatsoever ye would that homies should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which troll in thereat:
14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and nishta dowry there be that find it.
15 gardy loo of false prophets, which troll to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
16 Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do homies gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
17 Even so every bona tree bringeth forth bona fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth nana fruit.
18 A bona tree cannot bring forth nana fruit, nishta can a corrupt tree bring forth bona fruit.
19 Every tree that bringeth not forth bona fruit is hewn down, and cast into the binco fakement.
20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
21 Not every una that saith unto me, Duchess, Duchess, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but she that doeth the will of my Auntie which is in heaven.
22 Many will cackle to me in that journo, Duchess, Duchess, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many fortuni works?
23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: bugger off, ye that acting dickey codness.
24 Therefore whosoever aunt nelleth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken her unto a wise homie, which built his lattie upon a rock:
25 And the rain trolled down, and the dowry aquas trolled, and the winds blew, and zsa zsa-ed upon that lattie; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
26 And every una that aunt nelleth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a dizzy homie, which built his lattie upon the sand:
27 And the rain trolled down, and the dowry aquas trolled, and the winds blew, and zsa zsa-ed upon that lattie; and it fell: and dowry was the fall of it.
28 any road up, when Josie had ended these sayings, the homies and palones were gobsmacked at his doctrine:
29 For she taught them as una having authority, and not as the betty bracelets.
Chapter 8
1 When she was troll down from the mountain, dowry multitudes trolled after her.
2 And, varda, there trolled a leper and worshipped her, cackling, Duchess, if thou wilt, thou canst make me clean.
3 And Josie put forth his famble, and reefed her, cackling, I will; be thou clean. And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
4 And Josie saith unto her, varda thou cackle no homie; but troll thy way, shew thyself to the godly homie, and offer the gift that Maureen commanded, for a testimony unto them.
5 And when Josie was entered into Capernaum, there trolled unto her a centurion, beseeching her,
6 And cackling, Duchess, my serving homie lettieth at home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented.
7 And Josie saith unto her, I will troll and heal her.
8 The centurion answered and cackled, Duchess, I am not bona that thou shouldest troll up my lattie: but cackle the lav only, and my serving homie shall be healed.
9 For I am a homie under authority, having butch homies under me: and I cackle to this homie, troll, and she goeth; and to another, troll, and she trolleth; and to my serving homie, Do this, and she doeth it.
10 When Josie aunt nelled it, she marvelled, and cackled to them that trolled after, Verily I cackle unto you, I have not found so dowry faith, no, not in Israel.
11 And I cackle unto you, That many shall troll from the east and west, and shall lett down with Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, in the kingdom of heaven.
12 But the chavvies of the kingdom shall be cast out into outer munge: there shall be weeping and gnashing of hampsteads.
13 And Josie cackled unto the centurion, troll thy way; and as thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee. And his serving homie was healed in the selfsame hour.
14 And when Josie was troll into Petra's lattie, she vardad his palone affair's mother lelled, and sick of a fever.
15 And she reefed her famble, and the fever dry her: and she arose, and ministered unto them.
16 When the even was troll, they brought unto her many that were possessed with devils: and she cast out the fairies with his lav, and healed all that were sick:
17 That it might be fulfilled which was cackled by Esaias the prophet, cackling, Himself lelled our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses.
18 Now when Josie vardad dowry multitudes about her, she parkered butch lav to troll off unto the other side.
19 And a certain scribe trolled, and cackled unto her, Master, I will troll after thee whithersoever thou trollest.
20 And Josie saith unto her, The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests; but the homie chavvie of homie hath not where to lett his eke.
21 And another of his disciples cackled unto her, Duchess, suffer me first to troll and bury my Auntie.
22 But Josie cackled unto her, troll after me; and let the stiff bury their stiff.
23 And when she was entered into a lattie on water, his disciples trolled after her.
24 And, varda, there arose a dowry tempest in the sea, insomuch that the lattie on water was covered with the waves: but she was asleep.
25 And his disciples trolled to her, and awoke her, cackling, Duchess, save us: we perish.
26 And she saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of bijou faith? Then she arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a dowry calm.
27 But the homies marvelled, cackling, What manner of homie is this, that even the winds and the sea obey her!
28 And when she was troll to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met her dewey possessed with devils, trolling out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no homie might troll by that way.
29 And, varda, they screeched out, cackling, What have we to do with thee, Josie, thou homie chavvie of Gloria? art thou troll hither to torment us before the time?
30 And there was a bona way off from them an herd of many swine feeding.
31 So the devils besought her, cackling, If thou cast us out, suffer us to troll away into the herd of swine.
32 And she cackled unto them, troll. And when they were troll out, they trolled into the herd of swine: and, varda, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the aquas.
33 And they that kept them fled, and trolled their ways into the smoke, and cackled every fakement, and what was befallen to the possessed of the devils.
34 And, varda, the whole smoke trolled out to meet Josie: and when they vardad her, they besought her that she would troll off out of their coasts.
Chapter 9
1 And she entered into a lattie on water, and passed over, and trolled into his own smoke.
2 And, varda, they brought to her a homie sick of the palsy, lying on a bed: and Josie vardaing their faith cackled unto the sick of the palsy; homie chavvie, be of bona cheer; thy kertervers be forgiven thee.
3 And, varda, certain of the betty bracelets cackled within themselves, This homie billingsgateth.
4 And Josie knowing their thoughts cackled, Wherefore think ye nana in your thumping cheats?
5 For whether is easier, to cackle, Thy kertervers be forgiven thee; or to cackle, Arise, and mince?
6 But that ye may know that the homie chavvie of homie hath power on earth to forgive kertervers, (then saith she to the sick of the palsy,) Arise, lell up thy bed, and troll unto thine lattie.
7 And she arose, and trolled off to his lattie.
8 But when the multitudes vardad it, they marvelled, and glorified Gloria, which had parkered such power unto homies.
9 And as Josie passed forth from thence, she vardad a homie, named Matilda, sitting at the receipt of custom: and she saith unto her, troll after me. And she arose, and trolled after her.
10 any road up, as Josie sat at carnish in the lattie, varda, many landladies and kerterverers trolled and sat down with her and his disciples.
11 And when the lily laws vardad it, they cackled unto his disciples, Why eateth your Master with landladies and kerterverers?
12 But when Josie aunt nelled that, she cackled unto them, They that be whole need not a crocus, but they that are sick.
13 But troll ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not parker: for I am not troll to screech the bona, but kerterverers to repentance.
14 Then trolled to her the disciples of Jane, cackling, Why do we and the lily laws nishta manjarry oft, but thy disciples nishta manjarry not?
15 And Josie cackled unto them, Can the chavvies of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will troll, when the bridegroom shall be lelled from them, and then shall they nishta manjarry.
16 No homie laueth a piece of new cloth unto an badge frock, for that which is put in to fill it up lelleth from the frock, and the rent is made worse.
17 nishta do homies put new sherry into badge schooners: else the schooners break, and the sherry runneth out, and the schooners perish: but they put new sherry into new schooners, and both are preserved.
18 While she cackled these fakements unto them, varda, there trolled a certain ruler, and worshipped her, cackling, My palone chavvie is even now stiff: but troll and lett thy famble upon her, and she shall live.
19 And Josie arose, and trolled after her, and so did his disciples.
20 And, varda, a palone, which was diseased with an issue of blood kenza years, trolled behind her, and reefed the hem of his frock:
21 For she cackled within herself, If I may but reef his frock, I shall be whole.
22 But Josie turned her about, and when she vardad her, she cackled, palone chavvie, be of bona comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the palone was made whole from that hour.
23 And when Josie trolled into the ruler's lattie, and vardad the minstrels and the homies and palones making a noise,
24 she cackled unto them, parker place: for the maid is not stiff, but sleepeth. And they tittered her to scorn.
25 But when the homies and palones were put forth, she trolled in, and lelled her by the famble, and the maid arose.
26 And the fame hereof trolled abroad into all that land.
27 And when Josie trolled off thence, dewey nanti varda homies trolled after her, screeching, and cackling, Thou homie chavvie of Davina, have mercy on us.
28 And when she was troll into the lattie, the nanti varda homies trolled to her: and Josie saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They cackled unto her, any road up, Duchess.
29 Then reefed she their ogles, cackling, According to your faith be it unto you.
30 And their ogles were opened; and Josie straitly charged them, cackling, varda that no homie know it.
31 But they, when they were trolled off, spread abroad his fame in all that country.
32 As they trolled out, varda, they brought to her a nanti polari homie possessed with a devil.
33 And when the devil was cast out, the nanti polari cackled: and the multitudes marvelled, cackling, It was never so vardad in Israel.
34 But the lily laws cackled, she casteth out devils through the princess of the devils.
35 And Josie trolled about all the smokes and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gossip of the kingdom, and healing every kerterver coddy and every disease among the homies and palones.
36 But when she vardad the multitudes, she was trolled with compassion on them, because they fainted, and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd.
37 Then saith she unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are nishta dowry;
38 Pray ye therefore the Duchess of the harvest, that she will lau forth labourers into his harvest.
Chapter 10
1 And when she had screeched unto her his kenza disciples, she parkered them power against nanti sparkle fairies, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of kerterver coddy and all manner of disease.
2 Now the names of the kenza apostles are these; The first, Simone, who is screeched Petra, and Andrea his sister; James the homie chavvie of Zebedee, and Jane his sister;
3 Phyllis, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matilda the landlady; James the homie chavvie of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was Thaddaeus;
4 Simone the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed her.
5 These kenza Josie laued forth, and commanded them, cackling, troll not into the way of the nishta kosher homies, and into any smoke of the Samaritans enter ye not:
6 But troll rather to the lost sheep of the lattie of Israel.
7 And as ye troll, preach, cackling, The kingdom of heaven is at famble.
8 Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the stiff, cast out devils: freely ye have lalled, freely parker.
9 Provide nishta gelt, nishta silver, nishta brass in your purses,
10 nishta scrip for your journey, nishta dewey coats, nishta slingbacks, nishta yet staves: for the workman is bona of his carnish.
11 And into whatsoever smoke or town ye shall enter, enquire who in it is bona; and there lett till ye troll thence.
12 And when ye troll into an lattie, salute it.
13 And if the lattie be bona, let your peace troll upon it: but if it be not bona, let your peace troll back to you.
14 And whosoever shall not lall you, nishta aunt nell your lavs, when ye troll off out of that lattie or smoke, shake off the dust of your plates.
15 Verily I cackle unto you, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom and Gomorrha in the journo of judgment, than for that smoke.
16 varda, I lau you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.
17 But gardy loo of homies: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;
18 And ye shall be brought before governors and dowriest homies for my sake, for a testimony against them and the nishta kosher homies.
19 But when they deliver you up, lell no thought how or what ye shall cackle: for it shall be parkered you in that same hour what ye shall cackle.
20 For it is not ye that cackle, but the fairy of your Auntie which cackleth in you.
21 And the sister shall deliver up the sister to death, and the Auntie the chavvie: and the chavvies shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
22 And ye shall be hated of all homies for my name's sake: but she that endureth to the end shall be saved.
23 But when they chivvy you in this smoke, scarper ye into another: for verily I cackle unto you, Ye shall not have trolled over the smokes of Israel, till the homie chavvie of homie be troll.
24 The disciple is not above his master, nishta the serving homie above his Duchess.
25 It is enough for the disciple that she be as his master, and the serving homie as his Duchess. If they have screeched the master of the lattie Beelzebub, how dowry more shall they screech them of his household?
26 Fear them not therefore: for there is nishter covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.
27 What I cackle you in munge, that cackle ye in sparkle: and what ye aunt nell in the hearing cheat, that preach ye upon the housetops.
28 And fear not them which ferricadoza the lucoddy, but are not able to ferricadoza the nishta lucoddy: but rather fear her which is able to battyfang both nishta lucoddy and lucoddy in hell.
29 Are not dewey sparrows sold for a farthing? and una of them shall not fall on the ground nanti your Auntie.
30 But the dowry riah of your eke are all numbered.
31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.
32 Whosoever therefore shall dish me before homies, her will I dish also before my Auntie which is in heaven.
33 But whosoever shall deny me before homies, her will I also deny before my Auntie which is in heaven.
34 Think not that I am troll to lau peace on earth: I trolled not to lau peace, but a dowry efink.
35 For I am troll to set a homie at variance against his Auntie, and the palone chavvie against her mother, and the palone chavvie in law against her mother in law.
36 And a homie's foes shall be they of his own household.
37 she that loveth Auntie or mother more than me is not bona of me: and she that loveth homie chavvie or palone chavvie more than me is not bona of me.
38 And she that lelleth not his cross, and followeth after me, is not bona of me.
39 she that findeth his life shall lose it: and she that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
40 she that receiveth you receiveth me, and she that receiveth me receiveth her that laued me.
41 she that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall lall a prophet's parkering; and she that receiveth a bona homie in the name of a bona homie shall lall a bona homie's parkering.
42 And whosoever shall parker to buvare unto una of these bijou ones a cup of cold aqua only in the name of a disciple, verily I cackle unto you, she shall in no wise lose his parkering.
Chapter 11
1 any road up, when Josie had made an end of commanding his kenza disciples, she trolled off thence to teach and to preach in their smokes.
2 Now when Jane had aunt nelled in the charpering carsey the works of Crystal, she laued dewey of his disciples,
3 And cackled unto her, Art thou she that should troll, or do we varda for another?
4 Josie answered and cackled unto them, troll and shew Jane again those fakements which ye do aunt nell and varda:
5 The nanti varda lall their vardaing, and the nanti wallop mince, the lepers are cleansed, and the nanti nellyarda aunt nell, the stiff are raised up, and the nanti dinarly have the gossip preached to them.
6 And fabed is she, whosoever shall not be offended in me.
7 And as they trolled off, Josie began to cackle unto the multitudes concerning Jane, What trolled ye out into the nishta smoke to varda? A reed shaken with the wind?
8 But what trolled ye out for to varda? A homie clothed in soft clobber? varda, they that wear soft clothing are in dowriest homies' latties.
9 But what trolled ye out for to varda? A prophet? any road up, I cackle unto you, and more than a prophet.
10 For this is she, of whom it is screeved, varda, I lau my messenger before thy eke, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
11 Verily I cackle unto you, Among them that are born of palones there hath not risen a dowrier than Jane the Baptist: notwithstanding she that is nanti dowriest in the kingdom of heaven is dowrier than she.
12 And from the days of Jane the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth slapping, and the violent lell it by force.
13 For all the prophets and the law prophesied until Jane.
14 And if ye will lall it, this is Elias, which was for to troll.
15 she that hath hearing cheats to aunt nell, let her aunt nell.
16 But whereunto shall I liken this generation? It is like unto chavvies sitting in the bodegas, and calling unto their fellows,
17 And cackling, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned unto you, and ye have not lamented.
18 For Jane trolled nishta eating nishta bevvying, and they cackle, she hath a devil.
19 The homie chavvie of homie trolled eating and bevvying, and they cackle, varda a homie gluttonous, and a winebibber, a bencove of landladies and kerterverers. But wisdom is justified of her chavvies.
20 Then began she to upbraid the smokes wherein most of his dowry butch works were done, because they repented not:
21 Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the dowry butch works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes.
22 But I cackle unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the journo of judgment, than for you.
23 And thou, Capernaum, which art exalted unto heaven, shalt be brought down to hell: for if the dowry butch works, which have been done in thee, had been done in Sodom, it would have remained until this journo.
24 But I cackle unto you, That it shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the journo of judgment, than for thee.
25 At that time Josie answered and cackled, I thank thee, O Auntie, Duchess of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these fakements from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.
26 Even so, Auntie: for so it seemed bona in thy vardaing.
27 All fakements are laued unto me of my Auntie: and no homie knoweth the homie chavvie, but the Auntie; nishta knoweth any homie the Auntie, save the homie chavvie, and she to whomsoever the homie chavvie will reveal her.
28 troll unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will parker you lettie.
29 lell my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am camp and lowly in thumping cheat: and ye shall find lettie unto your nishta lucoddies.
30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is sparkle.
Chapter 12
1 At that time Josie trolled on the sabbath journo through the corn; and his disciples were an hungred, and began to pluck the hearing cheats of corn and to jarry.
2 But when the lily laws vardad it, they cackled unto her, varda, thy disciples do that which is not lawful to do upon the sabbath journo.
3 But she cackled unto them, Have ye not varda the lavs what Davina did, when she was an hungred, and they that were with her;
4 How she entered into the lattie of Gloria, and did jarry the shewbread, which was not lawful for her to jarry, nishta for them which were with her, but only for the godly homies?
5 Or have ye not varda the lavs in the law, how that on the sabbath days the godly homies in the holy carsey billingsgate the sabbath, and are blameless?
6 But I cackle unto you, That in this place is una dowrier than the holy carsey.
7 But if ye had known what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not parker, ye would not have condemned the guiltless.
8 For the homie chavvie of homie is Duchess even of the sabbath journo.
9 And when she was trolled off thence, she trolled into their synagogue:
10 And, varda, there was a homie which had his famble withered. And they asked her, cackling, Is it lawful to heal on the sabbath days? that they might accuse her.
11 And she cackled unto them, What homie shall there be among you, that shall have una sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the sabbath journo, will she not lett hold on it, and lift it out?
12 How dowry then is a homie benar than a sheep? Wherefore it is lawful to do well on the sabbath days.
13 Then saith she to the homie, Stretch forth thine famble. And she stretched it forth; and it was restored whole, like as the other.
14 Then the lily laws trolled out, and held a council against her, how they might battyfang her.
15 But when Josie knew it, she withdrew himself from thence: and dowry multitudes trolled after her, and she healed them all;
16 And charged them that they should not make her known:
17 That it might be fulfilled which was cackled by Esaias the prophet, cackling,
18 varda my serving homie, whom I have chosen; my beloved, in whom my nishta lucoddy is well pleased: I will put my fairy upon her, and she shall shew judgment to the nishta kosher homies.
19 she shall not strive, nishta screech; nishta shall any homie aunt nell his cackling fakement in the streets.
20 A bruised reed shall she not break, and smoking flax shall she not quench, till she lau forth judgment unto victory.
21 And in his name shall the nishta kosher homies trust.
22 Then was brought unto her una possessed with a devil, nanti varda, and nanti polari: and she healed her, insomuch that the nanti varda and nanti polari both cackled and vardad.
23 And all the homies and palones were gobsmacked, and cackled, Is not this the homie chavvie of Davina?
24 But when the lily laws aunt nelled it, they cackled, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the princess of the devils.
25 And Josie knew their thoughts, and cackled unto them, Every kingdom medzered against itself is brought to desolation; and every smoke or lattie medzered against itself shall not stand:
26 And if Sadie cast out Sadie, she is medzered against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?
27 And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your chavvies cast them out? therefore they shall be your beaks.
28 But if I cast out devils by the fairy of Gloria, then the kingdom of Gloria is troll unto you.
29 Or else how can una enter into a manly alice's lattie, and spoil his goods, except she first bind the manly alice? and then she will spoil his lattie.
30 she that is not with me is against me; and she that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.
31 Wherefore I cackle unto you, All manner of kertever and billingsgate shall be forgiven unto homies: but the billingsgate against the Fantabulosa Fairy shall not be forgiven unto homies.
32 And whosoever cackleth a lav against the homie chavvie of homie, it shall be forgiven her: but whosoever cackleth against the Fantabulosa Fairy, it shall not be forgiven her, nishta in this world, nishta in the world to troll.
33 Either make the tree bona, and his fruit bona; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being nana, cackle bona fakements? for out of the abundance of the thumping cheat the screech cackleth.
35 A bona homie out of the bona gelt of the thumping cheat bringeth forth bona fakements: and an nana homie out of the nana gelt bringeth forth nana fakements.
36 But I cackle unto you, That every idle lav that homies shall